Citizen Kane, Gone With the Wind, Along the Waterfront. All of these are classics that are relevant in the studies of film history. Filled with dramatic performances and moving character arcs that cover the entire human emotional spectrum, these films pack a punch aimed right at the viewer’s heartstrings. But, do they have machine gun boobs, arm pit swords, and wig napalm? No, but RoboGeisha does. How can you honestly not be interested in this?
Yoshie (Aya Kiguchi) is a geisha assistant to her sister, Kikue (Hitomi Hasebe) until one day they are both chosen to become cyborg geisha assassins by a steel manufacturing corporation. Between her various hits, Yoshie must deal with not only her conflicting morals surrounding these assassinations, but also with two elite stripper assassins called the Goblin Squad (Takumi Saito and Taro Shigaki).
Be warned friends and fellow movie lovers, it is necessary to leave any common sense or harsh intellectual judgements at the door. RoboGeisha is not meant to be taken even a pinch seriously. That’s what makes this movie so ridiculously fun and memorable: it doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s easy to find films that would have been great if it weren’t for an overly serious storyline coating a ridiculous set up. Thankfully, this movie knows exactly what it is.
There is really nothing in this movie that is at all believable. The acting is pretty bad, the writing is way too expository, and the special effects can be downright laughable. But, let’s be real, who cares? While the dialogue may reveal way too much, it’s hysterical and almost self-aware. I laughed just as much at the ludicrous dialogue as I did with the ridiculous action sequences.
There actually is one thing in this movie that I liked not because it was silly, but because it was legitimately something that I appreciated as a film student, even though it’s nothing cutting edge. When there was an intense action scene or lots of frenetic fighting, the camera movement and the editing would become hyperactive. This really added to the scene and just made me get more excited and into what I was looking at.
I do have a few complaints, however. For one, I would get pretty bored with the long scenes of dialogue. The poor writing is funny for the short scenes, but when they go on and on, it gets kind of old and I get ready for the next scene of ridiculousness. That being said, the movie goes on a bit too long. This would have been a perfect hour and a half movie, but it actually clocks in at close to two hours. That’s good for a drama, but not something like this.
Thinking back on RoboGeisha, I start to love it more and more. I had more fun watching this movie than I have in a while. Is it the best movie I ever saw? Certainly not, but it may be one of the most entertaining I’ve ever seen. I easily recommend RoboGeisha to everyone who doesn’t mind turning their mind off and forgetting all rules of common sense, because they are of no use here.